


Lock and key

by Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Case Fic, Dean gets turned into a unicorn, Gen, Sam gets turned into an elf, what more can i say?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-04 06:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16341137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness/pseuds/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness
Summary: Sam and Dean find Loki in a small town where things are happening, and mistake him for Gabriel.  He ends up working the case with the boys.  Sort of.





	1. Well met by diner light

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this fic came from the @Gabriel-Monthly-Challenge on Tumblr: 'Mistaken identity.'

Loki didn't like the United States much, but he had to give the country props for one thing--the sweets. And, really, the amount of sugar that they put into nearly _everything_. The chocolate-chip pancakes sitting in front of him, covered in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, had more sugar in them than most cakes over in Europe. He added some maple syrup to the concoction for good measure--maple syrup, another thing the immigrants had gotten right--and then tucked in to the feast in front of him. Normally, he ordered room service in expensive hotels, but this tiny town in Minnesota didn't -have- any of those. Loki was here because he owed a friend a favor. He hadn't found Gang yet, but he could work on that after breakfast. 

About halfway through, he heard one of the new arrivals say, "Holy shit. _Gabriel_?" He didn't respond, although he made a mental note to tell Asmodeus to get more creative if his look-alike had actually been stupid enough to tell someone who he was after Loki went through all of the trouble to hide him and his archangel grace. 

"Gabriel?" asked a second voice. Then heavy feet approached his table. He glanced up--and up--at the two men standing in front of his table, mouths agape. One was a bit taller, with long, chestnut hair, and the other was shorter and had close-cropped sandy-colored hair. "Dude, man," said the shorter one, speaking directly to him, "What the fuck? We thought you were dead."

"Yeah!" added the taller one.

"Sorry, 'dudes,' you must have me confused with someone else," Loki smirked at them as he spoke. "I've never met you before in my life." The best part is, it was the truth, although they had clearly met a certain archangel who looked identical to him. Probably fucked him, too; the taller one in particular looked like Gabriel's type. Admittedly, both Gabriel's and Loki's 'type' tended to amount to 'breathing,' but still. Gabriel liked them tall. 

Sam and Dean exchanged looks and then glanced around the diner. Sam then held out his hand. "My mistake. I'm Sam Winchester, and this is my brother Dean," he said, assuming that 'Gabriel' had a reason for pretending to not know them.

Loki grinned. This could be fun, and who was he to turn down fun? He reached over his pancakes to shake Sam's hand. "Loki," he responded. Why tell a lie when the truth would suffice?

Sam shook the proffered hand, and then pulled out a chair at his table and sat down. 'Dean' did the same. Loki frowned slightly at their chutzpah, especially since he didn't sense anything 'special' about them. Had Gabriel really become this comfortable with some humans? It wasn't like him at all. 

The two leaned forward once they were seated, and Sam spoke in a quiet voice after glancing around to be sure no one was nearby. "How are you still alive? We thought you were dead, Gab--Loki." 

Loki shoveled some more pancakes in his mouth, putting off the moment he had to answer and reveling in the fact that they were calling him by his real name. The feeling was similar in many ways to an actual prayer. When he finally swallowed his mouthful, he answered the question with another question. "What do _you_ think happened?"

"You must've tricked Lucifer," said Sam, with Dean nodding alongside him. "But how'd you manage it? And why didn't you _tell_ us?"

"Duhhhh," Loki replied, rolling his eyes and pointing to himself. "Trickster. As for the rest, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." In reality, of course, he didn't know or care what Gabriel had done; he was still too pissed with the archangel.

"Wait a minute," said Dean. "Does this mean _you're_ responsible for what's going on in this town? It doesn't really seem like your style." He paused the conversation to flag down the waitress with his hundred-watt smile and a waved hand. "Could we get some coffee, sweetheart?" he asked her, pointing to his brother and himself. 

"Sure, hon," she said, walking away from the table. Both Dean and Loki turned to watch her walk away; Sam just rolled his eyes. 

Loki pretended as if he hadn't heard Dean's question; eyeing the waitress' ass was as good of an excuse as any. "Sorry...what?"

"Is this you?" Sam opened his laptop and spun it around so Loki could see a news article, which stated that a number of children had gone missing in the area. Passers-by were encouraged to be on the lookout for a 'large, hairy' person, which several witnesses had described as being seen near areas where children had gone missing. One resident had flat-out claimed that they'd seen 'Bigfoot' taking a child into the woods. 

Loki polished off a pancake while he read the article. "Nope," he replied, emphasizing the 'p'. He was starting to get the distinct impression that these two bozos were hunters. He pointed to himself again. "Small. Clean-shaven. In fact, are you sure they're not referring to you, Rapunzel?" he asked Sam. 

"Very funny, 'Loki,'" Sam shot him a bitchface and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So you just _happen_ to be in a completely random town while children are disappearing and there are Bigfoot sightings? And we're supposed to believe you? Every hunter knows Bigfoot is a hoax," Dean said, leaning across the table but sparing a bright smile for the waitress as she set mugs of coffee in front of him and Sam. 

They were hunters, then. Loki didn't really mind; they didn't seem about to stab 'Gabriel' even though they suspected him of being behind the missing children. Perhaps that was why Gabriel had told them who he was, to avoid being hunted down as a trickster. "Don't know what to tell you boys; I'm just here for the pancakes," he told them, gesturing to his mostly-empty plate. 

"Bullshit. You're coming back to the hotel with us," Dean told him. "Sam, get breakfast to go."

"On it," said Sam, drinking from his mug before standing to go over to the counter and speak with the waitress. 

"Dean! At least buy me dinner first," Loki responded, waggling his eyebrows and grinning. He'd already decided to go along with them; he'd recognized Gang's description, and if they did all the legwork for him, well...then he wouldn't have to do it. He loved mooching off of other beings. Especially ones he didn't like, like hunters. 

"Fuck you," Dean responded, glaring across the table at the trickster. 

"I said, buy me dinner first," Loki responded. His grin turned even more salacious. 

Dean just growled in response and crossed his arms over his chest, which allowed Loki to finish the rest of his breakfast in relative peace.


	2. Behind closed doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki, Sam and Dean talk about the disappearances and make plans.

Loki followed the brothers back to their (crappy) motel room. Ugh, how humans could stand to live in a place like this was beyond him--he was pretty sure it was worse than where the druids used to live, back in the day. Good, old-fashioned dirt was a hell of a lot cleaner than your average motel room. Refusing to touch any of the horizontal surfaces, Loki crossed his arms and leaned against a wall. "So, boys. When do the strippers get here?" 

Dean snorted in laughter, while Sam just glared at 'Gabriel.' Sam sat down and opened his laptop, while Dean threw himself on one of the beds and opened his breakfast container instead. "Gabe," Sam said as his laptop booted up, "What exactly are you doing in town?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," Loki responded with a shrug. "Kicking ass, taking names, taking people down a peg. Pegging people that deserve it," he added with a smirk and an eyebrow waggle.

"And do any of the people who deserve it happen to be missing children right now?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I don't know, Sam. I only got here last night. I got drunk, had lots of sex, no pegging though, woke up, and went to the diner where you yahoos found me. I haven't had time to scope the place out, even. Well, aside from the bar I was in last night. Whooo, there were some hot chicks there!" Loki told them. "You should've seen this one redhead--"

"Okay, okay," Sam said, making a face and holding his hands up in surrender. "We don't need to know. If it's not you, do you have any idea what it is that's doing this?"

"Dude. _I_ want to hear about the redhead," Dean said through a mouthful of food. 

"She was like, out to here," Loki looked at Dean and cupped his hands in front of his chest to indicate the redhead woman's breast size, "And _so_ sloppy, I was afraid she was going to throw up all over me if I let her suck my dick, you know?"

Sam cleared his throat loudly and narrowed his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. 

"Fiiiiiiine, Mr. Buzzkill," Loki said, rolling his eyes at Sam and mouthing, 'I'll tell you later,' at Dean. Loki was, of course, thinking as he was bantering. He could watch the two hunters stumble all over the internet trying to find what was going on. It might be amusing, but it would eventually get boring. If he pointed them in the right direction now, maybe they could find the kid, he could give it to Gang tonight, and he could take off and go to Las Vegas or Tijuana or somewhere. "Lots of Scandanavians settled here. You look into the Jotun yet?"

"Jotun?" Dean gave him a blank look. "What are they?"

"Weren't they giants?" Sam asked. While he was slightly quicker on the uptake than Dean, Loki still had to roll his eyes. Morons. It would probably be faster for him to go find the kid himself. At least Sam was typing something into the computer; hopefully whatever he found would be useful. 

"No, that's--okay, /some/ were giants, but mostly that's an exaggeration," Loki said. "They were lots of things. Some of them looked just like humans. Some were just magical beings that weren't gods themselves, but liked to pretend they were. Many of them just had very close ties to nature and could shape-shift into various natural forms. The ones you want to look up are the ones that eventually became known as trolls." 

"Trolls," Dean said flatly. 

"Not the naked ones with neon-colored hair, Dean," Sam sighed. "The ones that guarded bridges." 

"Yup," Loki agreed. "Big, hairy, ugly fuckers, for the most part. Sensitive to light, so they only come out at night. Oh, and you'll like this, Bill Buzzkill. When they have kids? They can't take care of 'em themselves, or they'll eat 'em. They gotta leave 'em with humans to raise until they're...oh, twelve or thirteen or so." Loki couldn't help feeling smug. Sure, he knew what was going on, but he'd've had that information to hand even if he hadn't. "It's where the entire legend of changling babies came from."

Sam and Dean were both staring at him; Sam's jaw had actually dropped slightly. "That's...just great," Dean managed finally. "So how do we kill them?"

"Depends. Either of you two nutjobs have Mjolnir lying around?" Loki asked. 

"No," Sam admitted, as this occured long before a certain auction. "Is there another way? Like--didn't they turn to stone when the sun came up in JRR Tolkien's works?"

Loki rolled his eyes again. "Yes, but those weren't _real_ trolls. The real ones just get angrier if you put 'em in the sun, because then they're sunburned." He pushed himself away from the wall and spread his hands. "I don't know any other way to kill them, sorry." He did, of course, but he wasn't about to share with the class. 

"Maybe I can find something online," Sam said. He pulled his now-cold breakfast to him and started eating one-handed while typing with the other. Dean, finished with his breakfast, threw his styrofoam container into the trash and stood up to look over Sam's shoulder. 

"Orrrr," Loki drawled, "You could find the kid it's looking for. Give the troll back the kid, and it will take it back to its people. No more missing kids."

"What about the kids that have already gone missing?" Sam asked, pausing what he was doing to look over at 'Gabriel.'

"Unfortunately," Loki replied, making a face, "Tolkien got that part right. What is it, 'boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew?'" 

Sam looked sick. "So there's no chance..." he started. 

"Nope," Loki replied, supremely uncaring. "They're all dead already." He was pretty sure, at any rate. If they weren't, it was likely that a (very) small amount of time would change that. 

Sam heaved a sigh, and Dean patted him on the shoulder. "Okay, so...we're looking for a kid that would have been adopted twelve or thirteen years ago?" His fingers began flying over the keys again. 

"Probably found on a doorstep," Loki agreed. 

"There would be news stories about it if a kid was just found," Dean said. 

"Hold on, hold on--just give me a second." Sam kept typing. "Get me a piece of paper," he told Dean. "There are...three children about that age in town whose birth records are sealed. It's probably one of them." He picked up a pencil, and started scribbling down addresses. "Is there any way to tell which one, Gabe?" 

"The ugliest one," Loki said helpfully. He was getting quite tired of the two hunters taking his information for granted. 

"Is there any way to tell _for sure_ which one it is?" Sam asked, giving Loki a flat look. 

"Gee, Gabriel, thanks for all your help!" Loki said sarcastically. "Gee, Gabriel, it would've taken us days to find all that out by ourselves! You probably saved some kids' lives! Thanks so much, Gabriel!" He snorted; he'd decided he didn't want to tag along with them while they ran around town trying to find the troll spawn. Instead, he snapped his fingers, magicking a rock into his hand. "Here," he said, tossing it haphazardly at Dean. "Get close enough to a troll, and it'll glow. Even you monkeys can't screw that up. Now," he said, "Having surely discharged any debt I might owe you two, I'm going back to my room to do a scientific study on how many Good and Plenties I can fit in my mouth before laughing at Seinfeld re-runs makes me spit them back out. Room 201, upstairs. Once you find the troll kid, come tell me where it is and I'll help you get it back to its parents tonight." 

"Sorry, Gabriel, I didn't mean to--" Sam started, as Dean caught the rock and looked it over. Loki was already closing the door to the motel room behind him, however, drowning out Sam's apology.


	3. Actual work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean try to find the troll child.

Sam blinked as Gabriel shut the door on him. "Ha! Sammy, you got told!" Dean said, punching his brother in the arm. 

"Ow! We both got told, Dean." Sam gave his brother a glare. 

"Whatever, you were the one who was apologizing. So, should we take this magic rock thingy out to find the troll kid?" Dean clearly just wanted to play with his new toy. 

"Dean, it's not even noon," Sam pointed out. 

"So?"

"The kids are in school, Dean," Sam was using his most long-suffering tone as he eyed his brother. "They won't get out until this afternoon. And there's no point getting ourselves arrested trying to get into the school when we can wait and visit their homes."

Dean sighed, then flopped back down on his bed and started tossing the rock into the air. He caught it each time as it came back down. "Well, hell. What are we going to do until then?" 

"Dude, don't break the magic rock," Sam admonished, though his eyes were on his computer screen. "-I'm- going to do some more research. I don't like the idea of letting two monsters that eat humans go." 

Dean scrunched up his face and imitated Sam in a falsetto. "'Don't break the magic rock.' _I'm not going to break the magic rock_ , Sammy. And you heard Gabriel. Unless you can find a ritual to summon Thor--heeeeeey," he said, his eyes lighting up as he sat up, "Do you think we could summon Thor?"

"We're not summoning a pagan god, Dean. They're just as bad as the trolls. Thor probably fights and kills people for fun every time he gets drunk and requires a blood sacrifice every week or so. Remember, he's different in mythology than he is in those movies." Sam rolled his eyes. "He is the Norse god of _war_ , for heaven's sake."

"Phooey." Dean reached over to the radio in the room, turned it on, and cranked it up. It was playing 'Battle of Evermore,' and Dean began to sing along to an obnoxiously repetitive lyric. "BRING IT BACK! BRING IT BACK! BRING IT BACK! BRING IT BACK!'

Sam closed his eyes and counted to ten. "Dean!" he called after the song finished. "I have an idea. Why don't you go look for the adult troll? You can drive around the outskirts of town, through any forests you see, and maybe your rock will light up or something. Just--don't go out on foot looking for it, since we don't know how to kill it." 

"That's a great idea," Dean enthused, turning the music off and leaping up off of the bed. "Knowing where its den is might help us lead it to the kid tonight." 

"Exactly. You go do that, and then come pick me up around 3:30 when school gets out?" Sam was happy to have found something (other than alcohol or women) that could get his brother to leave the motel room for a few hours. 

"Okay, Sammy. Don't work too hard." Dean gave his brother's shoulder a pat as he headed out the door. 

Once the door closed and the Impala drove off, Sam heaved a deep sigh. Finally, silence. After relaxing in it for just a moment, he bent to his computer to continue his search for ways to kill northern giants. 

\----------------------------------------------

When Sam and Dean met back up, both of them had struck out. "Every time a giant was killed, it was killed by something magical, except for one time when a stag's horn killed one, but I think that was just due to the power of the strike by one of the Norse gods," Sam was explaining as he climbed into Baby. "No magic, and no super hitting power, no killing giants." 

"I told you Gabriel would've told us if he knew anything." Dean had said no such thing, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to take credit for it. 

Sam made a face, but didn't argue. "How did _your_ search turn out?" he asked pointedly. 

It was Dean's turn to make a face. "I got nothing," he admitted. "The rock didn't glow at all. I even drove past the school, but apparently you have to be closer than that."

"Great," Sam said with a sigh. "We'll have to do it the old-fashioned way, then. What's our pretext?" 

Dean shrugged and suggested, "Let's go as exterminators. We can say there's termites in the neighborhood and we want to give their house a free check." 

"That sounds good," Sam admitted, nodding slowly as Dean drove toward the first of the three houses they were going to check. "If we can't get near the kids, then maybe one of us can ask to use the bathroom and get away from the others." 

"I will. I've been staring at this damn thing all day, I want to see it light up." Although he glanced over at his brother occasionally, Dean mostly kept his eyes on the road as he spoke with Sam and drove through the small town. 

Sam reached into a bag in the backseat and pulled out a couple of exterminator shirts. He shed his various layers of plaid and then pulled the black shirt with the nametag on over his white t-shirt, laying the other shirt where Dean could easily reach it. "All right. Wanna bet on whether or not it's the first house we picked?" 

"No bet," replied Dean. "It'll be the third with our luck." 

As predicted, the changeling child was not at the first house Sam and Dean visited. There was a tween boy running around with his brothers, but the rock never lit up even though the child came quite close to them several times. They made a show of looking around the house, told the lady who had let them in that they didn't see any signs of a termite infestation, and headed to the next house. Dean muttered the whole way there about the magic rock probably not working, or one of these three kids not being the right one and them having to start all over from scratch. Sam just ignored him. 

No one was home at the second house they tried, so they drove on to the third. A very large dark-haired woman in an American flag T-shirt and yoga pants opened the door. "Hello?" she said, as a black cat rubbed around her ankles. 

"Hi, Ma'am, we're from an extermination company. There's a termite infestation down the block, and we wanted to offer to check out your house--for free, of course--to see if they might have made it over here. There's no obligation to choose us if we do find evidence of termites." Sam smiled brilliantly at the woman, mentally begging her to just let them into her house. He was also considering brain bleach--both the T-shirt and the yoga pants were _much_ too tight on the woman. 

"Termites? In Minnesota?" The woman sounded surprised, but she shrugged. "Okay, you can come in and take a look. As long as it's free." 

"We promise," Dean supplied, walking into the house and surreptitiously taking a look at the rock in his hand while also showing Sam. To both their relief and surprise, the rock had started glowing just slightly. The two began moving about the house, checking the wood and knocking on the walls. 

Sam spotted a girl, about twelve, in the dining room doing homework. Gabriel had been unfair; the girl was homely, but not downright ugly. "Dean!" he called. "Can you come give me a hand with something?"

"That doesn't sound good," said the homeowner, who was following Sam around. 

"No, not at all," Sam replied. "It just takes two people to test this cross-brace here. Plus, he's been in the business longer; he's more likely to spot something." 

"Oh. Okay," said the woman. 

"What's up, Sam?" Dean asked, coming into the dining room. His eyes tracked the girl as well, but since the homeowner was standing there watching them, he came over and helped Sam 'test' the cross-brace. "Looks good," he said after a glance at his hand, meeting Sam's eyes to convey the fact that they had, in fact, found the changeling girl. 

"Okay, well, I don't know about you, but I haven't seen any evidence of termites. I don't think they made it this far down the block," Sam told Dean, before looking over at the homeowner. 

"No, I think you're all good," Dean said, smiling at the woman. "Apologies for the interruption, but if you do get termites, believe us, you want to get rid of them sooner rather than later." 

"That's all right," the woman said, seemingly mollified. "Here, the door is this way." She saw them out of the house, and they walked back to the Impala and climbed in. 

"Well, that was easy," Dean said. 

Sam groaned. "Don't say that. You know when you say that everything goes wrong."

Dean just laughed, and turned the car back toward their motel. 

\----------------------------------------------

The brothers exchanged a look. They were standing outside of room 201 at the motel, and there were...noises...coming from the room. Porn noises, to be exact. Dean finally shrugged and then banged on the door as loudly as he could. "Loki!" he called. "Loki, it's us! Open up!" 

Loki opened the door wearing nothing but blood-red silk boxers. Sam turned approximately the same shade, while Dean tried to crane his head to look over Loki's shoulder. "Dude," he said, impressed. "Is that the redhead you were talking about?" 

"Yeah," Loki said proudly, glancing over his shoulder. "And she brought a few of her friends. Want in?"

"Hell yes," Dean said, brushing past Loki on his way into the room as Loki opened the door wider. "Hello, ladies," Sam heard him say. 

"How 'bout you, Rapunzel?" Loki asked, grinning up at Sam. 

"Uh--no, no thanks, Gab--Loki," Sam stammered. "I'll uh...when you guys are done, I'll be downstairs. With the case." Sam turned around and practically ran away from the hotel door, causing Loki to give a full belly laugh at his retreat. 

"Damn, your brother's a shy one, isn't he?" Loki could be heard saying, as he turned around and closed the door behind him. 

Sam ended up back in the boys' room, trying his best NOT to think about what was going on upstairs. He'd kill Dean later, but for now, he continued to brush up on his Norse mythology. He put his headphones in, connected them to the laptop, and began playing music that he actually liked rather than the music Dean always insisted on. It would have been more relaxing had he not known exactly what his brother and Gabriel were doing upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I'm fully aware that I'm mutilating Norse mythology here, although there was some mention of changeling stories and some Jotuns were later called trolls, etc. Since H. H. Holmes didn't actually favor petite blondes as victims, I don't actually feel all that bad about it.


	4. Nightfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is developed and enacted. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *giggles madly to self*

When Dean and Loki finally came downstairs, Dean was looking a little spaced-out and had clearly been drinking. Loki had too; the alcohol just hadn't affect him as much. 

"Dude, Sammy, you have no -idea- what you missed," Dean said, walking over and sprawling on his bed. "Those girls were wild. And awesome. Awesome and wild," he added in a dreamy voice. 

"Can we not talk about that?" Sam threw a bitchface in Dean's direction. 

"You need to learn to have more fun, Sammykins," Loki said, walking up behind him and patting Sam on the back. He was able to read the computer screen behind Sam as a result. "Still looking for ways to kill trolls?"

"Yeah. You sure you can't do it, Gabe? Most of the other Norse gods could, with or without magic." Sam looked up into Loki's face, puppy dog eyes at approximately half-strength. "And you're an archangel."

"I told you," Loki tightened his grip until it would be on the very edge of painful, and leaned down until he was growling into Sam's ear, "To call me Loki. And do I _look_ like my ambulatory penis of a brother? You have to have more brawn than brains to push your fist through a Jotun's skull." 

"Okay, okay." Sam grimaced and held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, _Loki_. I just don't like letting them go if they're going to go kill more people eventually." 

Loki nearly shivered. Even when his name was dripping in sarcasm, it was good to hear it from a human's lips. "Can't be helped," he said, suddenly brightening. "All we can do is bring the troll kid to its dad and let them walk away. No more dead children in this town, problem solved, I can snap you to wherever you want to go next. I'm sure someone else is going to die somewhere else and you want to be there in time to save them." 

"Dean told you we found her?" Sam asked, glancing over at Dean, who had fallen asleep and was now snoring loudly. 

"Yup," Loki replied, his bright smile now showing a little too much canine. "And I have the perfect plan to get her to come outside to us. Then you two can babysit her a while, while I go find Troll Dad and bring him to you. Easy-peasy, Sam-lamb." 

Sam immediately made a face. "Don't ever call me that again," he groused, his eyes narrowed slightly. "What's your plan, Ga--Loki?" It was clear he didn't like the idea of a foolproof plan coming from the trickster--Gabriel had at least done a good job of imitating him if Sam was that suspicious.

Loki heaved a theatrical sigh. "Sam, I can't believe you don't trust me." He splayed the fingers of one hand across his chest, and tried to look as innocent as was possible. After holding the pose a beat or two, he laughed and lowered his arm. "I'll put a sleeping spell on the rest of the family, so they don't wake up. We'll knock on her window--with magic, if it's on the second storey--and then we'll lure her out." 

"With what?" Sam still sounded suspicious, as well he should. 

"With the one thing a tween girl cannot fail to run outside for. No, not a sparkly vampire," Loki added, spreading his hands towards the wall as if setting a Shakespearian scene on stage. "A talking unicorn. And some magical elves who want to take her away on a grand adventure to another dimension where fairies exist." He waved a hand dismissively. "I'll magic something up in the forest, where you can stay until I find the troll and bring him to you."

"Dibs on being an elf," Sam said immediately, glancing over at his sleeping brother. 

Loki raised his eyebrows. This one was smart--he'd seen the trick coming. Loki had been looking forward to the looks on their faces when he told them that one of them would have to play the unicorn. Of course, he could snap up a real unicorn, but where would the fun be in that? He pursed his lips, and then nodded. "Only if you don't tell Dean about that part. Otherwise, you both end up as unicorns."

"Deal." Sam leaned back in his chair, and sighed. "How are you going to find the troll?"

"He'll be doing magic himself, to get children to come out of their homes to him. I'll just follow that magical signature right to him," Loki explained. Gang should be at their predetermined meeting spot tonight, and that's where he would find the Jotun--no magic required. "Sooo," he said suggestively with an eyebrow waggle, "What should we do until dark?"

Sam gave him a flat look. " _I'm_ going to order pizza. What do you want on yours?"

"Anchovies," came the immediate reply. "Lots and lots of anchovies." 

Sam just made a disgusted face as he pulled out his phone to dial the local pizza place.

\-------------------------------------------------

After dark, Sam, Dean and Loki found themselves in the spacious backyard of the house that they'd found the troll girl in. Sam hadn't tipped Dean off to Loki's secret plan, and was quite looking forward to his brother playing the role of a unicorn. Of course, that was before Loki, smirk on his face, snapped his fingers and turned Sam into an elf. 

Dean took one look at his younger brother and doubled over laughing. "Dude. DUDE! You're wearing," he gasped between bouts of laughter, pointing at Sam's legs, "TIGHTS!" Sam looked down at himself, and indeed, he was. He was in a form-fitting renaissance-type costume of blue and silver with puffy little shorts on and hose underneath. He happened to notice his hands, which had extra joints and were sporting a number of rings. "Here, here," Dean gasped. "Show--you." He held his cell phone up, snapped a picture of Sam, and then handed the phone to his brother. 

Sam eyed the picture. It wasn't just his clothing and hands that had changed. His ears were pointed--numerous earrings dangled from them--and his eyes were slitted like a cat's and bright blue. Sam's face was hairless, and his skin was paler. His nose and cheekbones were a completely different shape than they were normally. Sam also had a rapier strapped to his side, and was wearing blue slippers instead of shoes. Oh. And his hair was nearly down to his waist, and there were little braids in it. Tossing the phone back to Dean, he gave Loki a flat look. "Are you done?"

"With you, sugar," Loki grinned, obviously having enjoyed 'dressing' Sam up, even though he wasn't laughing nearly as hard as Dean still was. His grin widened as he turned to the other brother.

"Wait! Wait!" Dean cried, holding up his hands to forestall the inevitable snap. "No tights for me! And no pansy sword either. I want a -real- weapon. No jewelry, either!"

"Oh," said Loki, grin seeming to stretch all the way from ear to ear. He was -definitely- displaying his canines, now. "I can do that." Then he snapped his fingers--and turned Dean into a unicorn. 

It was Sam's turn for a full belly-laugh. Dean was now on all fours, approximately the size of a pony, brilliant white, with a white beard dangling down from his chin. The horn that stuck out from his forehead looked like polished silver. He moved his head around to try to take himself in, including his cloven hooves and his braided mane and tail, which both contained lots of brightly-colored ribbons. "What the _neigh_? Wait, why can't I say _neigh_? _Neigh_ it, did you _neigh_ stop me from _neigh_ swearing? What the _neigh_ , I can't even say _neigh_? THAT'S NOT EVEN A SWEARWORD."

Both Sam and Loki were now on the ground, holding their stomachs and laughing so hard there were tears in their eyes. "Can't have a unicorn swearing in front of a kid!" Loki managed to gasp out eventually. 

"I'm going to _neigh_ trample you to death," Dean promised, prancing over to Loki and rearing up on his hind legs. 

Loki just snapped himself away from Dean so he was standing near the edge of the backyard. "Behave, Dean. There's a little girl who's going to want to ride you into the magical forest. Sam, get up," he added, snapping Sam into a standing position. "It's time to get her out here." He ducked behind a tree, and then a few knocks sounded at a second-storey window. 

Dean screamed in frustration, but the high-pitched sound only served to lure the girl to the window faster. Sam glanced up as she appeared and, wiping tears from his eyes with one hand, gave her a little wave. Dean the unicorn headed to the tree Loki was behind only a moment ago, but found that the trickster had already disappeared. 

"I'm going to _neigh neigh neigh_ that piece of _neigh neigh neigh_ ," complained Dean. As soon as the girl's face disappeared from the window, Sam pulled out his own cell phone (which was in a pouch hanging off of his belt) and snapped a picture of Dean as a unicorn. Several pictures, actually, for posterity. "I can gore you," Dean pointed out. 

"With your majestic weapon, even," Sam snarked, grinning nearly as widely as Loki had been earlier. 

Dean began neighing under his breath. They both turned toward the back door as the girl they'd met earlier in the day ran out of it with a coat on over her fleece pajamas. "You're real!" she gasped, walking up to Dean with her mouth agape and a hand stretched out. She, of course, wanted to pet him. 

Sam swallowed a snicker, and decided to engage in some light community theater before Dean could impale the girl. "Greetings, princess," he said. "I am Lord Samuelel Winchester, and this is..." he couldn't look at Dean and keep a straight face. "your noble steed...um...Deanonicus." 

"Wow," the girl said, finally making contact with Dean. He was clearly fuming--Sam could tell that, even though his brother had a horse's face at the moment. "You're so pretty, Deanon--Deanoni--"

"Dean for short," Sam said, bowing toward the little girl. "We are here because the land of Fairy needs you to come save it. Will you please come with us, Princess?"

"Yes, oh yes!" Clearly, stranger-danger didn't include real elves and unicorns (but then, why should it?). "Um. Can you help me up?" she asked, grabbing hold of Dean's mane and pulling hard. 

"Ouch!" Dean cried, causing the girl to fall backwards in startlement. 

"Dean! You can _talk_?" the girl asked, eyes wide as Sam helped her to her feet and then lifted her up and set her on Dean's back. 

"Yeah. Sorta," Dean responded. "Dude," he grumbled, as she was set on his back, "Someone needs to lay off the ho-hos."

"Dean!" Sam hissed, glaring at the one large green eye that was staring at him. It seemed to be looking at him no matter where he went. More loudly, to the girl, he said, "Please be gentle with his mane. We'll take you out to the forest, Princess, where you can rest for a time until my friend Loki comes to take you to Fairy."

Dean nearly fell over as he took the first few steps, as he wasn't at all used to his new body, and the girl proved to be a terrible rider. She constantly leaned exactly the wrong way at the wrong time. Luckily, Sam was tall enough to steady her occasionally so that Dean could make forward progress. They walked out of the yard and turned toward the forest. The path leading to it had fairy lights, presumably courtesy of Loki. Dean mentally hoped that Loki had put the sleeping spell on all the houses in the area, or the Bigfoot rumors were going to get _really _weird really soon.__


	5. I'll be back as soon as I can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *snickersnortgiggle*

Chuckling to himself, Loki made his way to the bridge (see what he did there?) where he was supposed to meet Gang that evening and leaned back against the railing. He looked up as the stars slowly came out (at least, the brightest ones--most were too dim to make it through the light pollution that came off of even a small town like this one) and pondered the universe. Or, at least, how he could make more chaos in it. 

He heard the troll walking up to him--honestly, it was much harder to _not_ hear a giant walking up than to hear them walking up--and looked over. "Hello, Gang," he said, offering a smile to the much taller, hairier being. 

"Loki." Gang crossed his arms over his chest and directed a suspicious look down at the Norse god. "You will help me find my child?" His English was accented, but he was more articulate than most people would think a troll was capable of. 

"In exchange for the favor I owe you, yes. That's still an acceptable deal?" Loki responded, holding his hands out to the side, both in a questioning gesture and so the troll could see he had no weapons. 

"Yes," Gang replied, his voice deep enough that Loki felt it more than he heard it. Gang shifted his weight, and the pavement underneath him actually cracked slightly. 

"Great! Because I already found her!" Loki beamed up at the giant.

"...You have? Her? I have a daughter?" Gang's eyebrows raised into his hair...but, actually, he had so much hair that it didn't make much of a difference in his expression. "I had hoped for a son," he rumbled musingly. 

"I know how that goes. But Hel surprised me, honestly. Definitely did me more good than Sleipnir," Loki responded. "So, do you want to go see her?"

"I cannot--not yet. I must lure her away with my song, or she will not become true Jotunkind." Gang rumbled as he looked out at the forest. "That may only happen at dusk. It is too late tonight." 

Loki made a face, and considered informing the giant that his end of the deal--finding the kid--had been held up and that Gang could handle the rest. _Then again,_ he thought, _the look on those hunters' faces when they realize they have to spend another day like that..._ That was enough for him to make up his mind. "All right. You know where the humans have the road leading west into the forest? Meet me a mile south of there just before dusk. And don't be seen; the humans are already telling stories about you." 

"Let them tell stories; they cannot harm me. I am Gang," the giant troll replied, thumping himself on the chest. 

"You'd be surprised. There are hunters in this town already, and they know how to kill Jotunkind," Loki replied. Once again, he relished in the feeling of telling the truth when everyone thought he always lied. Telling the truth while omitting important bits of it was _much_ more fun.

Gang made a sound that Loki _hoped_ was a snort. "Fine. One mile south of the west road at dusk."

"See you there." Loki immediately snapped himself back to the clearing he'd made at the end of the pathway into the forest. Well, to the edge of the clearing, behind a tree; he wanted to observe what was going on before walking into whatever it was. The clearing contained your average artist's imagining of a fairy forest, complete with extra-large, glowing blue mushrooms, glowing green ferns, and tiny fairies flitting about, who were, yes, glowing different colors. Loki had left food that Sam and Dean could feed the girl if she was hungry (stupid girl, everyone used to know better than to accept goblin fruit--who knew upon what soil it had fed its hungry, thirsty roots?). Loki had also created a bed, complete with blankets, out of one of the mushrooms, in case they managed to convince the girl to sleep. 

At the moment, Sam-the-elf was leaping about the clearing, trying to capture one of the tiny fairies in his hands without hurting it for the girl. "Almost, Sir Winchester!" the girl cried, clapping her hands every time he reached for one and it darted away. Dean, meanwhile, was standing to the side, laughing uproariously at Sam's antics. Every time he tossed his mane, glitter fell from it, and the sound of bells could be heard. Sam also had bells on his outfit that jingled as he leapt after the faries.

Loki laughed aloud, then snapped his fingers, turning himself into an elf that was (thank you very much) taller than even Sam. Hey, 5'8" had nearly been giantish, in the olden days--Gang was only about seven feet tall. Loki walked gracefully into the clearing holding his hands up and out, and all of the fairies flew straight to him and landed in his hands. Sam, who was panting slightly, gave the Norse god a Look. With his slitted eyes, it came off as even more effective than his normal bitchface. 

"Well met, Sir Samuelel, Sir Deanonicus, Princess," Loki said, bowing and then holding out his hands to the little girl so she could observe the fairies close-up. Loki being Loki, they were tiny naked women that were shedding glitter-like scales from their butterfly wings. He waited for one of the fairies to climb onto the girls' hand so that she could see it and then released the rest to fly about the clearing again. "I am Sir Loki," he told the girl, watching Sam and Dean out of the corner of his eye. "I bring tidings from the land of Fairy. I regret to inform you that the way to Fairy is closed this eve."

" _What_?" interjected Sam and Dean, nearly simultaneously. 

"The way will re-open first thing tomorrow eve," Loki said airily, completely ignoring the interruption. "Good Princess, may I humbly suggest you take your rest this even? You will need your strength tomorrow when you go to rescue Fairy, fair maiden." He walked over to the bed and dramatically threw back the covers, revealing cotton candy pink sheets that matched the girl's pajamas.

"Okay! I think it's my bedtime anyway," the girl replied, running over and shedding her coat before climbing into the bed. Loki carefully tucked her in, and then wandered over to eat some of the fruit and candy he'd left out for them. It wasn't long before the girl was breathing deeply, and Sam and Dean quickly took the opportunity to approach him. 

"Turn us back," Dean demanded, stomping a hoof and causing more glitter to rain over the clearing. It made Sam sneeze, although he had had his mouth open to say something, probably along the same lines. 

"No can do, Dean-o," Loki replied. "I made the spell last until the troll comes to claim the child. Unfortunately, he can't claim her until tomorrow night, so you'll have to babysit her tomorrow. But just think of all the children you're saving!" he added as Sam and Dean both looked as if they were going to protest further. "Take her on a nice long ride tomorrow until she's tired and then have her take a long nap. I'll leave more food. Oh, and Dean, you can eat the ferns," he added with a grin. "But don't touch the mushrooms."

Dean had another neighing fit, while Sam shook his head and crossed his arms. "People will be looking for her. And it's not as if we don't stand out. I'll be arrested, and Dean will end up in some zoo or something!"

"Oh, don't worry about that," Loki replied with a wave of his hand. "I'll put another spell on you three so that no one can see or hear you except each other and you all can't hear anyone but me and the troll. And I'll seal the clearing so that searchers can't find it." He snapped his fingers. "There. Now you're unfindable. Congratulations. Keep the girl with you tomorrow, and I'll bring the troll at dusk. When he starts singing or whatever, let her walk to him, or you'll end up babysitting her for an extra day." Stepping away from the table, he waved his hand to replenish the food and drink. 

"Can you at least put a sleeping spell on her so we don't have to actually babysit her?" Sam pleaded.

"Silly hunter. Sleeping spells don't work on trolls. Okay. I'm going to go get the troll ready for tonight," Loki told them. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Wait!" cried Sam, reaching out a hand, but Loki had already snapped his fingers and disappeared (to the nearest bar to pick up, well, anyone who was willing). "...Fuck," Sam muttered under his breath. He looked back at Dean, and shrugged. "I guess we're babysitting tomorrow. We should get some sleep tonight."

"Is it just me," Dean said carefully, avoiding any curses, "Or does he seem a little off to you?"

"Yeah, he does," Sam agreed. "But maybe it's because Lucifer was willing to kill him? Or nearly killed him?"

"Yeah, maybe. Look, I don't even know how to sleep like this, so you should get some shut-eye and I'll watch the girl," Dean said, looking down at himself again. 

"All right." Sam looked around the clearing for a likely spot and soon realized that every possible place was full of gnarled roots, rocks, or both--and the magic mushrooms wouldn't hold even his elven weight (Dean laughed at him again; Sam was already thoroughly fed up with the sound of a unicorn laughing). In the end, he curled up next to the girl's bed and fell into a light sleep. 

Some time later, Dean's hoof nudged Sam awake. "C'mon, Sammy," Dean said. "Time to get up. I think I figured out how to sleep."

"Yeah?" Sam asked with a yawn. "Do you just click your hooves together three times?"

"Shut up," Dean shot back. He then pranced--apparently it was illegal for unicorns to just _walk_ anywhere--over to a tree, where he lowered his head, closed his eyes, and leaned his weight against the tree. 

Sam stood up and stretched, learning that while unicorns couldn't swear, elves apparently still had to pee. He checked on the girl, and then walked out of the clearing to do his business. Which was fine, until he took hold of himself without looking, and ended up saying a whole lot of things that Dean couldn't say right now. Apparently, eyes weren't the only feline trait he had. 

When morning came, neither brother was well-rested, and they bickered back and forth while waiting for the girl to wake up. "Deanonicus?" Dean was trying to imitate Sam's voice but just ended up sounding weird. 

"You know, like the dinosaur," Sam responded, trying to keep his voice down. The longer the girl slept, the less actual babysitting they had to do. 

"There's no dinosaur named Deanonicus, stupid."

"No, not--" Sam scoffed. "The name of the dinosaur is Deinonychus, okay? It was the first thing I thought of."

"The first thing you thought of was a stupid-sounding dinosaur name?" Dean bitched, purposely stepping on Sam's slipper-clad foot.

"Ow! Shut up, Dean," Sam replied. Their heads both turned as the girl rolled over in the bed, and both of them let out a relieved sigh when she remained asleep. Dean's stomach growled next--he refused to eat the vegetation, although Sam had worked his way through a plate of fruit earlier that morning.

"Let's hope she sleeps until noon," Dean said. " _Neigh_ , let's hope she sleeps until 4PM."

Sam couldn't help but snort out a laugh at Dean's completely unintended pun...which of course woke Princess up. Both brothers groaned softly. "Here we go," Sam said. Luckily for him (but not Dean), after eating her fill unicorn rides were at the top of the list of today's priority entertainment in the sunlit forest. Sam and Dean walked several miles through the forest with her on Dean's back, then circled back to the clearing. 

"Why can't Dean go any faster?" Princess wanted to know as Sam pulled her down off of Dean and Dean muttered under his breath about finding appropriately-sized mounts for people.

"Because Dean," who was now talking about himself in the third person, he was so annoyed, "Doesn't want to break his back."

"Huh?" she asked, brows drawing down as she frowned at the unicorn. 

"He's grouchy because he's a bit tired," Sam said hurriedly. "We stayed up to guard you last night. And it takes some time to learn to ride. He doesn't want to accidentally throw you off of his back." 

"Oh." The girl seemed mollified, and drank some juice that Loki had left on the table. "What should we do now?" Unfortunately, the ride didn't seem to have eaten into her energy, but the sugar rush provided by everything she was eating and drinking probably wasn't helping. "Ooh! I know! Can we have a tea party?"

Both brothers just stared at her. "We...we don't have a teapot or anything," Sam finally pointed out, hoping against hope that the girl would require one to have a proper tea party. 

"That's okay, we can just pretend!" exclaimed the girl. "Come here," she added, pointing to a mushroom that looked like a table. "I'll get us juice and candy, you two sit down!"

The boys approached the table as if it were about to turn into Lucifer himself. "Dude, if you -ever- breathe a word about this..." Dean threatened. 

"What happens in the clearing stays in the clearing," Sam agreed, as he sat down next to the mushroom table. 

"Word." Dean couldn't figure out how to lower himself down (plus the ground didn't look comfortable), so he remained standing. The next hour or so was easily the worst of the brothers' entire lives (including both their times in Hell), as they were forced to play pretend tea party with a twelve-year-old girl. Thankfully, she didn't seem to be able to read the looks on either of their faces. Loki wouldn't have been able to stop laughing if he had been there to see them, though.

After the tea party _finally_ ended, Dean talked Princess into letting them tell her stories instead of going on another ride. "Okay, Sir Dean! Tell me a story," she enthused. 

"Uhhh..." Dean looked back at Sam, lost. It had seemed like a good idea two minutes ago...

"Do you like ghost stories?" Sam asked quickly.

"Hmmm." His heart sunk as she seemed about to say no. 

"Of course she does, Sammy!" Dean cut in quickly. "She's very brave. Aren't you, Princess?" he asked. When confronted by Dean, she paused. "It's also bright and sunny outside, nothing to be scared of. We can tell a ghost story now, right, Princess? I promise, we won't tell any after it gets dark."

"Okay," Princess agreed, succumbing to peer pressure. Dean would've felt guilty, only his back was still sore from the ride that morning. 

"Great! Okay, so once upon a time there were these two brothers who were out looking for their father, and he left them a magic map that led them to a town where men kept--" Dean glanced over at Sam and thankfully caught his Look in time, "Um. Disappearing without a trace," he corrected quickly. 

"What were the brothers' names?" Princess wanted to know.

"Uhhh--"

"Andy and Ansem," Sam supplied. "They thought that maybe their father was in the town; they hadn't intended to look into the disappearances." With the aid of some of their past cases, they kept Princess occupied nearly the entire day. Unfortunately for Dean, she did insist on another unicorn ride later, but when they arrived back at the clearing, Sam talked her into taking a nap so that she'd be "fresh for saving Fairy this evening."

"I'm going to _neighing kill him_ ," Dean informed Sam once Princess had fallen asleep again. 

"You and me both," Sam said. "You want to take turns napping again?" Loki had been good to his word; they'd neither heard nor seen any sign of a search party all day, despite traipsing through the woods near the child's home twice. 

"Yeah. You go first, Sammy." Dean was secretly hoping that Sam would sleep as long as Princess, and then Sam would have to entertain her while Dean napped the rest of the day again. 

Sam settled down and quickly nodded off, while Dean waited for this neverending day of torture to finish.


	6. The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Dean remain a unicorn forever? Will the boys ever get over the trauma of having to have a tea party with a twelve-year-old girl? Will Loki actually wake out of his drunken stupor in time to bring Gang to sing his daughter into a true Jotun, whatever that means? Did @MasterpieceofTurkeyCleverness have more fun than is healthy while writing this fic? Find out today, on this ~~week's~~ ~~day's~~ _fuck it,_ **hour's** episode of _Lock and Key!_

When Loki finally woke up, it was mid-afternoon. He looked around the motel room as he stretched-his bedmates had apparently left sometime earlier this morning. Not that he minded; it usually got awkward if they didn't, and Loki was not a fan of awkwardness. 

Having snapped the shower into something resembling a shower you would find in a palace instead of a crappy motel, he took a shower and then snapped himself dry and clothed. After that, he headed to the diner for another round of their chocolate-chip pancakes. He scried on the brothers using his coffee, and snickered madly to himself when he was treated to a vision of them playing tea party with Princess. The clowns at least still had the girl, which meant that Loki should be free for the rest of the afternoon. 

Unfortunately, there was very little to do in Bugfuck, Minnesota, so he ended up playing pranks on people. An asshole driver that nearly hit the god while talking on his cell phone watched in shock as his piping hot coffee lifted itself up out of the cupholder and poured itself all over his crotch. And his phone. A bunch of teenagers who were ditching school to harass an older homeless man suddenly found themselves walking into their classes completely naked (worse, it wasn't a dream this time). Their clothes and shoes fell down in front of the man they'd been harassing, who, deciding it was a miracle, picked out what he could use and left the rest. Everyone who neglected to tip the pretty barista at one coffee shop Loki decided made a decent cup of coffee found they had a nasty rash on their backsides when they next went to sit down. And so on. 

Meanwhile, Loki scried on the brothers whenever he could, seeing them become more and more frustrated as the day progressed. Watching the hunters was so entertaining, Loki actually started forgetting to curse people who neglected to tip with the rash. Some late-afternoon coffee drinkers had no idea how lucky they were as they walked out of the coffee shop, shaking their heads at the weird short guy in the corner who kept laughing to himself. 

Luckily for Sam and Dean, Loki remembered that he had to meet Gang just in time, and he snapped himself to the edge of the forest where he'd told Gang to wait. 

"Trickster," Gang rumbled, far enough into the forest and still enough that Loki was pretty sure no one had seen him. "You came."

"Don't sound surprised, big guy," Loki retorted. "I promised. Have you ever seen me break a promise?"

"I suppose not," the troll replied, looking up at the sky. "She'll be able to hear me sing from here?"

"Yup. Whenever you're ready," Loki said. 

The troll waited another ten or twenty minutes, while the sun sunk lower in the sky. At dusk exactly, the troll began to sing. The song, deep and powerful, was actually quite beautiful if you knew ancient Jotun. Loki did, so he just stood and appreciated the music. He did, however, make sure that only people in the forest clearing and on the path from the clearing to this spot (which he'd just made appear) could hear the troll's song. 

After a few minutes, Princess stepped off of the path, reaching out to take her father's hand. Her hair was already growing into a wild tangle like her father's, and her muscles were starting to bulge even as she grew a couple of feet taller. Her eyes were wide, and Loki recognized the signs of someone who was in a magical trance. 

The giant didn't stop singing, but he did glance at Loki and nod respectfully to the god before wrapping his daughter's hand in his and walking deeper into the forest. Loki snapped his fingers, making sure that no search party would run into the two before they left the area, and then he stood and listened to the music until he couldn't hear it any longer. 

"A-HEM." The sound came from behind Loki, and he turned around to find a unicorn that was managing to look disgruntled and an elf that looked as if had recently been mauled by a unicorn. 

"Oh, hello," Loki told them brightly. "I suppose you'd like to be turned back now."

"YES," the brothers chorused, glaring at the trickster.

"Okay. You'll need to say the magic words in order for the spell to end. The magic words," he added, taking a step backwards--Sam had some serious reach now--"Are 'Please, Loki, make us into humans again.'"

If looks could kill, Loki would be as dead as Ruby. He just grinned at the brothers, however, and eventually they realized they weren't going to get out of this any other way. "Please, Loki, make us into humans again," they both mumbled, out of sync with each other. 

As their bodies began to change back into their regular forms, Loki spoke to them. "Thanks for the help, boys. Oh, but, I'm afraid you won't remember anything about this case besides that you came here, you solved it, everyone was saved, and it's time to move on to the next case. Can't have you thinking that that little dickwad of an archangel is alive somewhere, even if he is." He snapped his fingers, paused, and then snapped them again. "Oh, and the redhead. I wouldn't take those memories away from _anyone._ The rest will stay in your subconscious, where it will likely feature a starring role in your dreams occasionally. Bye, boys!" 

Loki simultaneously snapped Sam and Dean (now bearing no indication that they had ever been transformed into anything else) to their room, snapped the clearing back to the way it was before, and snapped himself to a bar. In Tijuana. Loki owed one fewer favor to the Norse pantheon (broadly defined), and he was going to celebrate tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it half as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you did, please let me know. If you didn't, constructive criticism is always welcome :). I don't feel as if I have Loki down 100%, but I do feel much better about it than the last Loki story I wrote.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: @Masterpieceofturkeycleverness.
> 
> Comments and kudos and constructive criticism are welcomed!


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